"It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune."

"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying."

"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."

"How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?"

"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."